"WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?"

The question above is one that I have asked, or have wanted to ask, often to fellow mothers who seem to have it all figured out.  It dawned on me recently - actually to my relief -  that there really is no secret.

Parenting comes with no manual, and in fact, the more you read about it, the more differing and emphatic the opinions are on how to do it best.  And more often than not, less is more.

There will be, no matter the effort, those instances with our children that we would like to erase: situations that may be upsetting, awkward, unpleasant or otherwise.  Instead of wishing those moments away, I recently remembered a wise kindergarten teacher a few years back who referred to those times as "teachable moments" and suggested they be welcomed.

And although there may be no secret to it all, I can't help but try to find ways to navigate parenting as best I can - my own teachable moments - or at least some help along the way.  An amazing book that I first read about in Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project is the superb parenting guide How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish.  It is a simple read with very practical yet empowering suggestions.  It has been a while since I read it and I am in need of a refresher - I look forward to diving in again.

And when in doubt, I adore the sage life lessons of the grandmother in Ron Howard's film Parenthood.  Her takeaway on a carnival roller coaster? "I always wanted to go again.  You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it.  They went on the merry-go-round.  That just goes around. Nothing.  I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it."

PS: These ten things were posted today on one of my favorite blogs, pvedesign.